Travel: Food for the Soul.

Lately, I've been thinking about why people travel. I don't mean a week holiday in an all-inclusive resort in the Bahamas. I mean something like quitting your job, or taking a three month hiatas, and just going, going, gone to all corners of the Earth. For me, my body craves the concoxion of feelings that come from traveling. The trepidation of, "What if?" mixed with the excitement of, "What if?" is the food for my soul. Traveling is like a herion fix for an addict. I'm addicted to that excitement of the unknown, I need the slight panicky feeling of having no idea where I am at or where I am going, and having to speak to people using exaggerated hand guestures in place of words. I spend my time wondering when I will get my next fix. It can never come soon enough.

For me, the best part of traveling is the fact that you just don't know what is going to happen. You can not plan it. You can't expect anything. I need to know that I have no control over situations. Some of the best experiences of my life came from unplanned events. I once flew to Fukoka, Japan, for a visa run from Korea. I was only planning on being there for two days. Along the way, I came across another 'visa-runner' from Korea and we scoured Japan looking for a cheap guesthouse. While we were looking for a good restaurant, my friend asked some random Japanese couple on the street for a restaurant recommendation, and we ended up eating sushi with them in a small diner, where the plates of sushi move around the bar on a conveyor belt, learning Japanese as we ate.

I had always dreamed of eating sushi in Japan, but never thought it would be at a local sushi restaurant with two Japanese people, teaching us Japanese.

And as luck would have it, the next day my visa was denied, so the day after that, I was on a plane to the good ol' U.S. of A. to figure it out. I spent four unexpected days in Los Angeles, sleeping in a Korean sauna in Korea town for $20 a night and my days were spent driving to all corners of the city and hitting the beaches. Point: You never know what's gonna happen. So just go with it....

There was this other time, when I was traveling from Bangkok to Koh Samui in an overnight van with some friends, the local Thai driver decided to take a detour in the middle of the night to his hometown village (somewhere between the two before-mentioned places) to pick up some doja from his dealer (that's Thailand). So, while he was taking care of business, he dropped us at some outside restaurant. Don't be confused by the word "restaurant". It consisted of a long, dilapidated picnic table with some plastic chairs that had been around since the turn of the 19th century. We didn't know what to eat, so a woman fried us some little fish (heads, eyes and all) and we ate it with Thai sauce. Of course, the locals in that little village had never seen us 'white-skinned' people, so we got the google eyes from all the passer-bys while we ate. That's part of the program when traveling in Asia though.

Then, the driver came back and on the road again we were: One high Thai driver and seven Americans.

There are tons of stories like these from backpackers all over the world. Each one unique in its own way. If I could quit my job and become a professional traveler, I would do it in a New York minute. However, until that day comes, I will remain a lowly English teacher, saving my money for the next big trip and spending my days in between dreaming of beaches, airplanes, and high Thai bus drivers.

Koh Chang (Elephant Island)

Going through some pictures on a lazy Saturday afternoon, I came across my last adventure to Thailand, and felt it would be quite selfish of myself not to share this beautiful country with the two or three people who might actually read this...

For my last trip to Thailand, I picked Ko Chang. Accoding to Wikipedia, Ko Chang is the third largest island of Thailand, located on the Thai east coast 310 km (193 miles) away from Bangkok near the border to Cambodia in the Gulf of Thailand. The name means Elephant Island. Ko Chang was named for the elephant shape of its headland, although elephants are not indigenous to the island. The island is known for several waterfalls, thriving coral reefs and rainforests.

My whole time on the island, I stayed on Lonely Beach. There are a few beaches to choose from, including White Sands Beach (Northwest), which is the most popular; and Bang Bao, which is on the southern most tip of the island. I chose Lonely Beach because I liked the way it sounded. Lonely beach is located on the on the Southwest part of the island. It takes about 40 minutes of a mountainous jungle ride in the back of a pick-up 'taxi' to get there from the pier, but it's well worth the ride.

View on the way to Lonely Beach

Surrounded by jungle on one side and ocean on the other.

The Sunflower Guesthouse is a nice spot to stay, but about a 10 minute walk to the beach. For this bungalow, it set me back about 400 baht ($13) a night, but I had my own bathroom and fan, not to mention, my 'own pool', as the manager jokingly pointed out when he showed me the place.

Sunflower Gueshouse--bungalow

My first whole day on the island, I rented a bike for 150 baht ($5) a day, and drove south. I drove until the end of the main route along the coast, a little past Bang Bao, and found myself at a little beach hidaway. It was gorgeous.

You must first cross this Indiana Jones style bridge to get to the beach.



Walking along the bridge.

Just relaxing, eating some Thai fried rice.

In case you fancy a massage, you can get one seaside.

I changed guesthouses after the second night. I was in dire need of some beachfront-bungalow-action. What I found was perfect--Siam Huts. Beachfront bungalow, without aircon, only 480 baht ($16) per night. (With aircon was 520 baht per night.) They don't have an internet cafe on sight (boo). They do have a big restaurant with the tables on a wooden deck overlooking the ocean (yeah!). The food wasn't too good (boo), but you can't beat the view(double yeah!). Almost every night, they play a double feature film on a huge projector screen outside on the deck. Every Friday, they have a huge beach party (if you are in to those kinds of things.) I also had my laundry done there, for 40 baht per kilo. (Not too bad, considering it's the only way to get clean clothes when you are traveling.)

Entrance to Siam Huts.

Restaurant desk at Siam Huts. Beautiful way to relax and enjoy a cocktail (or two).

Along the main strip of Lonely Beach, there is an awesome fruit store. Actually, there is fresh fruit (mango, durian, papaya, bananas, watermelon, pineapple) all over the island, everywhere you turn, but I fell in love with this little store. I was able to get a fresh mango shake for 30 baht ($1) and fresh mangoes for 30 baht per kilo. The mangoes were so silky sweet, they melted like butter in my mouth. My mouth is watering just thinking about them.



Here she comes with my mango shake.

Fruit, about as fresh as it comes, unless you pick it yourself.

Bananas galore.

The third day on the island, I was on the motorbike again. This time, I decided to head north up the coast and see what I could find. Along the way, I came across a sign for an Chang Chutiman elephant camp. The camp actually lies about 3km into the jungle, off the main road. It was a bumpy ride on the motorbike, and being that I hate riding on those things anyway, I decided to walk into the park.

Walking into the elephant camp.

Along the way, I came across a small little village, maybe 6-7 huts.

Small village along the path to the elephant camp.

You can pay to ride an elephant for one or two hours through the jungle, however, I just wanted to look at them and feed them some bananas. A basket of bananas to feed the elephants is 20 baht ($0.67).

The female elephant. She was chained to that area by her ankle.

If you look into her eyes, you can see she is not happy.

The male elephant. He was a little more outgoing than his female counterpart.

The rest of the trip I  just explored the island a little more by motorbike and lounged around the guesthouse and on the beach. Here are some random pics from around the island...

You can rent a kayak or canoe to get out to these small islands.

View atop White Sands Beach.

Just a few extras. If you are planning a trip to Thailand, be ready to carry around a roll of toilet paper at all times. Don't be caught empty-handed. Oh, and don't expect  your toilet to flush. Do expect a bucket of water next to the toilet with a a plastic bowl to pour water into the toilet---a manual flush system.

Hmmm, what else. The main, most important thing to remember, when traveling in Thailand is this: JUST ENJOY YOURSELF!!!!!

An Attempt to Curb My Cynicism

Paulo Coelho said in a blog post in February of this year, "Join those who sing, tell stories, enjoy life and have happiness in their eyes. Because happiness is contagious and always manages to keep people from being paralyzed by depression, loneliness and troubles."

Whether it be genetic, a product of the environmental factors surrounding my early childhood years (heck, the late years as well, who am I kidding), destiny, fate, or how ever you would like to classify it and wrap it up in a box with a ribbon on top, the fact remains is that it is just not easy for me to have a postive view on this world or the things in it. Well, that is to say, until now...

We always want to blame others for our misgivings(I say 'We' not by literary accident, I'm talking about me, as well as YOU). Just as it is easier to swim with the current, it is also easier to point out others mistakes, instead of taking the interspective route and looking at ourselves. However, we must be careful when swimming with the current, it might seem easier at the moment, but eventually it will take you down with it.

For this next year, 2011, I am going to be one of the happy people that bring happiness to others, not the other way around. I think the first step for me to accomplish this goal is to stop blaming my mom, my family, the government, society, friends, the garbageman, the postman, the grumpy old man on the subway and life in general for my own faults.

Who knows, I might just end up being one of "those who sing, tell stories,[and] enjoy life and have happiness in their eyes."

Moral: Look Inside Yourself, Don't Judge, Carry Happiness in Your Eyes

Musical Chairs for Adults

I can literally fold, roll, smash, or crumple all of my material objects into one large suitcase and one small suitcase; throw a few things in a backpack, and that's my packing. I can do it under two hours, if needed.

You see, many people get a false sense of security through concrete objects. Things they can touch, feel, smell, admire, and all those verbs that keep people satisfied for the moment, that tell them their life is going in the right direction and all is safe and sound.

So, basically, we can divide all of the 7 billion (give or take a mill) people that we currently share this earth with into two groups: the 'haves' and the 'have nots'. And, it seems that this is how the world has worked since the beginning of civilization. Let's go back a few years, relatively speaking, to ancient Egypt. The 'haves' exploited the 'have nots' to death, literally. Who do you think built all those pyramids? You think Pharoh was out there carrying bricks and breaking a sweat? Hells no he wasn't, he was chillin' in the palace with grapes and women and who knows what, while the 'have nots' were out there working their butts off.

Ok, so what about today? Well, let's take my lovely neighboring country, North Korea. I mean,seriously? Come on you heartless bastard, Kim Jong Il. This asshole (sorry) is literally starving his country to death. These people get no nurishment, and they are brainwashed since birth to worship this flagrent, digenerate dictator, as some kind of god. And what about KJI? You better believe he has his rice and kimchi three times a day. This guy is a modern day Hitler. And you wonder how Hitler was able to kill so many people? You wonder why it took so long for anything to be done about it? Well, your answer lies in politics. But that's a story for another day...

Back to the point. The world is divided into people that 'have stuff' and the people that don't. This division is ancient. However, I'm quite tired of people telling me what I NEED to do or what I NEED to have. I say, if you have food to eat, a place to sleep and clothes to wear, then you are doing okay for yourself. I don't think the value of those things are important.

Let me clarify: there is nothing wrong with trying to make a better life for yourself and your family. Honestly, living with two suitcases is not easy. It's not a life that most people could handle; but in this world where materialism is the new god, you have got to check yourself everyday. Make sure you are not being driven by the invisable forces that tell you need more, more, more to be happy, happy, happy. Try less, less, less until you are left with just yourself, then see how happy you really are.

As for me, well, my suitcases and I have seen better days, but I don't plan on buying another suitcase until I'm happy with the ones I've got.

What’s Your Exit Strategy?

Any good portfolio manager knows the importance of having a sound exit strategy. In the world of finance, each investor has their own limits as to when they see it as time to sell their investment. Ideally, we would like to buy at the right time and sell at the right time, in order to minimize our losses and hopefully make a profit. However, it seems that not everyone can sell as easily as they buy, both in the finance world, and in our own personal world.

I sometimes analyze my decisions with a financial twist. I know, that sounds a little weird, but what I mean to say is that, I have taken this idea of knowing when to get out of an investment, and I have carried that idea over to one major aspect of all of our lives—relationships. When you buy a stock, you can set limits on how long you will hold on to it. For example, you can say “Ok, if the stock loses 10% of its original value, sell.” I think that when we get into a relationship, we also have these ideas in our head of what we will and will not endure, and we also have them for other people’s relationships. Like, “Oh, no way! I would never put up with that!” or “She is so stupid to be with that guy!” For some people it’s quite easy, they aren’t happy with their ‘investment’ so they get out, “You know, it’s been real fun, but it’s just not working for me.” or “I hope you find the right person for you, but it’s just not me.”

However, it seems like the longer you invest in a person (when it comes to relationships, our investment comes in way of time, energy, feelings, emotions, and, usually in my case, money as well....), the harder it is to know if/when to get out. This is when self worth walks into the door and starts screaming in your face. There must be a point that we, as human beings, know what we are worth, what we will take, and what we will not take. I think that when you realize that you are compromising any of these parts of you life, it’s time to SELL SELL SELL and get out of dodge before you forget who you are...(I can say this because I struggle with this myself.)

Now, I want to take this idea one step further, past relationships. I came to Cambodia thinking I would adjust just as quickly and easily as I did in Korea. The initial week or so, I spent taking it all in. However, little by little I was seeing my sense of freedom being replaced with fear and paranoia. Praying for my life on the back of motorbikes, carrying money in my bra so my purse doesn’t get ripped off my shoulder (usually the same time as I am praying for my life on the motorbike), being home before the sun sets so I don’t get mugged. I realized that there are many things I can do in this world and doesn’t include my freedom being stripped away. Where fear and crime thrive, there is no freedom. With that being said, I have decided it is time for me to get out of this investment, while I am still able to. Cambodia is not the place for this Ohio girl.

Let’s face girl, a girl has to know her limits—when it comes to stocks, relationships and freedoms.

One Can of Sugar Cane Juice, Please.

I'm off of work for a week because of the Khmer New Year. I've used my extra time to get to know my new city.

I went to the Soraya Mall. It's about 6 or 7 floors of madness. You know those clothes you are wearing right now? Well, there is a high chance that if you bought them from Gap, A&F, or AE they were sewn together right here in Cambodia (your average worker makes about $60 - $100 a month). Some of those clothes make it to the markets and stores here, for about 10% of what you 'rich' Americans pay for them at home. Clothes, purses, shoes, watches, dvd's, electronics, fake i-pods...The list goes on and on. Needless to say, I'm pretty excited to do Christmas shopping this year!

From there I hitched a ride on the back of a motorbike to the riverside. Side note on the moto drivers: I found a way not to get ripped off---just give them what I think is fair for the ride and walk away before they can say anything. It takes some getting use to, but I think I got the distance:cost ratio figured out. Anyway, I walked around the area located along the Tonle Sap River. Lots of backpackers hang out there. I found a place called Rivside Bistro, on St.148, to relax with a view of the river. Had some iced-coffee, water and a glass of wine for $7.25. A little expensive, but we gotta splurge sometimes, right?

During my walk, I saw an elephant. Tourist were feeding it fruit. I'm sure they paid a pretty penny for that once-in-a-life-time-animal exploitation. Later, the owner of the elephant passed me on the street. Leading his pet down the road to find some more elephant loving tourists that have always dreamed of feeding an elephant fruit on the side of the road in Phnom Penh. I mean, haven't we all had that dream at least once in our lives?

Today I went to the Russian Market, but it was closed for the New Year, so I had my tuk-tuk driver take me to Wat Phnom. There were some celebrations going on there for the New Year. I watched for awhile while this guy played drums on two or three plastic containers, turned over, and people danced. It was fun and they were having a good time. I walked over to the river again, and found a place to grab some lunch/dinner. While I was eating, I absent-mindedly looked to my right at the building next door and I saw a mother chimpanzee (some kind of monkey-like animal, I think it was a chimpanzee) and her three babies walking along the second floor rooftop. Hmmm...

Oh. The best part of all was when I ate an early lunch at a place called Mando. I was looking at the menu. It had pictures of food, then the Khmei word and then the English translation. Picture: Can of Coke. English translation: Sugar cane juice. Geez, when you put it that way, give me 2 cans!!!

Here's to a Decade!!!

A decade. 10 years. 120 months. 3650 days. 87,658 hours. That is about how much time I've passed through since I graduated from high school. Earlier, I was standing outside on my balcony and the thought occurred to me: My eyes have seen a lot in the last ten years.

Let's see. The year is 2000. Turn of the millennium. I graduate from high school. I am dating the person whom I think I am going to marry. I have my whole future figured out and it is going to be perfect. Go to college, graduate, get a good job, get married, have kids and start the cycle over for them. Ha. Little do I know, God has other plans for me, plans I would have never thought possible in that 18 year old mind.

Everything is going along like I had hoped. I'm living my Chris's parents and going to school. One morning, in September 2001, turn on the news and see buildings in NYC burning. The newscasters are not sure what is going on. While I’m sitting in Chris’s room, on the edge of his bed, watching the tv screen, a plane flies in and hits another building. For the first time in my life, I hear the name that I will continue to hear for the next 9 years: Osama Bin Laden.

More time passes. We move into our own place. I’m going to school. Things are continuing along the path I laid out for myself. But something is wrong. There is this deep aching in my soul for something more. This voice in my heart is always calling out, “Is this it? Is this going to be your life forever? Going through the motions, but not knowing why?” I have to ignore it, push it away. There is no room for those questions in my life.

A couple of years have passed. It’s 2003. I’ve been at Wright State for two years now. I decided to study accounting, because it seemed like the best bet to secure my future. Things with Chris and I are starting to fall apart. We are not communicating anymore. Our paths are starting to diverge. Neither one of us is happy, but both are too scared to tell the other, so we keep living our lives in secret misery. Both wanting something else, but not knowing what that ‘something’ is.

It’s Tuesday and my second day of my junior year at Wright State. It’s an important year because I’m starting my junior level accounting classes. After two years at WSU, I’ve become obsessed with school and 4.0’s. My life is centered on books and studying. I’ve been working at Wright Patt Credit union now since 2000. I work part time, about 20 to 25 hours a week. My cell rings, it’s about 7am. I ignore it. I don’t think any good news can come so early. I roll back over. It rings again. Ignore. Ten minutes later, someone is knocking on the door. I look out the peep hole. There is my Aunt Angie and my grandpa. Hmmm....They come in and tell me that my mom is dead. Not sick, not on life support, just dead. Shot in the head and died instantly.

The next week or so I am consumed with grief, picking out a plot and casket, packing my mom’s apartment, talking to detectives, crying, praying, nightmares and more crying. After the funeral, I recede into the depths of my mind and stay there for the next three months. I decided I hate God. I hate happy people. I hate anything that brings people happiness. I stay in bed and feel sorry for myself and my poor dead mother.

About five months have passed, along with Christmas and the New Year. It’s February 2004. I started back to school in January, after taking a quarter off. I’m feeling better, but I still have anxiety attacks when anyone mentions moms or guns. School is going well. I finally start hanging out with friends from school. Valentines day has just passed. I find out Chris is cheating on me. More tears, yelling, tears. He moves out. I study harder. I meet new people at school. I realize that I can have a life, a good life, by myself. I didn’t need him after all. Hmmm...this is pretty cool.

Now it’s May 2005. I’m getting ready to graduate from college. I have a great job. Great friends. I’m FINALLY moving out of Fairborn in August. I’m moving to Las Vegas for work. Three friends are moving with me, life is great!!! One month before I move to Vegas, I get another phone call bearing bad news. Chris is dead. He overdosed. Holy crap. More depression, drinking, crying...

I keep going and I move to Vegas. Time to leave these horrible memories of death behind me. Vegas is great. I work for the audit agency for awhile and then for a company as a financial analyst. The money is good, but something is still missing, that voice is still calling out, "Is this what it's really about? Money? Is that what makes you happy?".Ignore. I start working at Blondies with Court and Jame. No more cubicles and 8 to 5s. After about a year of beer pong and poker, trips to Los Angeles and clubs and beaches and pool parties, it’s time for a change.

It's 2007. I’m in South Korea. Teaching English. This place is awesome: new culture, new food, new language, new people, new job. I’m in love with Asia. Living in Korea, I feel like this is what I’m supposed to be doing. I take a few trips, to Japan and Thailand. I’m finally listening to that voice that I shut away 7 years ago.

Now: It’s 2010. I’m in Phnom Penh, Cambodia. I haven’t been here long, but so far, I love it too. I’m teaching 3rd graders. They are so cute. While I’m in Cambodia, I will travel to Laos and Vietnam, and I don’t know where else. I will get to know Cambodia. I will get to know Kendra a little more. Most importantly: I will keep listening to my heart, listening to the one I shut away so many years ago...listening to God.